Health & Medical Self-Improvement

Remind Ourselves Of Our Successes But Forget Our Failures

Very strange antics affect our minds when we recall mental pictures of our life's victories and defeats. Two small mental adjustments can change all that and give us a new take on life.

With successes, which can be frequent if we are a champion sports star, but for most of us such achievements stand out in our lives as unique and especially rewarding memories - provided we do allow the memory of them to come to mind at all.

It is very odd how we disable ourselves over success, almost as though we have contracted some mental disease. What are its symptoms?

Forgetting a particular success when any reasonable person would have thought it would be emblazoned on our mind. .

A second and classic feature is how we can try to pass off our achievement as an accident, as a fluke and therefore does not rank as special at all. Worse, we can compound this reticence on the odd occasion we are actually reminded by someone about our previous success, by denying it happened, or by seeking to change the subject, lest our embarrassment at the reminder of our being successful gets the better of us - not a friend who is obviously impressed by it..

But if we are to develop and increase our sense of well-being, of worth and our self -esteem, then we should do the reverse and recall and list everything of which we can be proud.

We don't realise how we humans soak up harmful thoughts and adopt them as part of us. If we ourselves don't rate, and continue not to rate the value of the things we have done really well, then we are undervalue our own self-worth..

We should remind ourselves daily to feed our impressionable minds with positive reminders of how well we did; how we prepared for the success; how exactly we did it. This not only sponsors our sense of self-worth once more, but it puts us in a much more effective frame of mind to succeed again tomorrow, next week and next month.

Vital is it, if we are an employer that we benefit from the positive efforts of our staff. This is vital for them too, for their achievements in life should be reiterated too - and keep reminding them.

If we are parents or grand-children, then congratulating children and grandchildren, itemising the traits and elements of their success, reminding them on an on-going basis builds their opinion of themselves.

We should do it with our partners too.

So - in handling success, does this give us a clue on how most of us handle failure? I wish!!

Don't we forget, play down and change the subject on our life's failures, just like we do with success? Wouldn't that be consistent behaviour?

NO! NO! Most of us don't do that at all. We remember our failures. We burnish their memory onto the very fabric of our minds. We recall the sense of failure we felt at the time, the anguish, the embarrassment, the loss of self-respect.

And we do it repeatedly, often for years after, when we are still alive to tell the tale and had other lesser dramas which tested us but somehow we got through.

So what we do here then? Failure can hit us hard but should we try to blot all of it out, the event and the struggle afterwards?

It's "No!" to a lot of that that too! We should forget the failure and go further. We should promise ourselves to banish the picture of it from our minds. But it is fundamental at the same time that we should focus on how we got over the failure; how we recovered and re-established ourselves.

Better still we should go a stage further and remind ourselves that while success cannot be guaranteed, getting though and past failure can. This is true particularly if we adopt a mentality which makes us search for ways out of a dilemma, rather than wallow in it..

There it is then. Too many of us forget our successes when we should remind ourselves of them constantly - and remind others of their successes. Equally, too many of us waste time and emotional energy reminding ourselves of our failures, when we should blot those memories out by recalling how we recovered from the disappointment and re-established ourselves.

Good luck and don't hesitate to keep doing this to restore your sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

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